The Truth About Referrals

After 5 years of active networking I had a pile of referral slips about 5cm high. They represent every referral I’ve given over the years. I don’t suppose for one minute that all of those have turned into business (although they were all given with genuine good intention at the time). And I must admit I haven’t received anything like that number of referrals in return (but I have received plenty of referral business to make it all worthwhile).

The truth is that not all referrals work out well. I’ve given out referrals that I know have not been followed up for whatever reason. And I’ve responded to referrals I’ve received and found that the contact was not really interested in talking to me at all.

And a couple of times, a referral I’ve passed has gone horribly wrong.

Once, years ago, I introduced an IFA to my father, for inheritance tax planning. The IFA was supposedly an expert in this area, and of course it was in my best interests for the relationship to work out! I don’t know exactly what happened, but my dad ended up throwing with IFA out of the house, claiming he was pushing a product my dad had already rejected. In return, the IFA complained that he’d done lots of work and got nothing in return.

On another occasion, I referred a solicitor to someone on Ecademy who needed conveyancing on a number of properties. A few months later, I had a message from the Ecademist claiming the solicitor had ‘ripped them off’. I spoke to the solicitor, who said the Ecademist was a ‘predator’.

I was relieved that none of these people held me responsible, but it did make me reluctant to refer them again.

On the other hand, I’ve been involved with referrals that have gone spectacularly well.

An Ecademist asked if I knew someone who could raise £1m against unpaid invoices. That’s right, one million pounds! I never thought I’d pass a million-pound referral, but I did know the exact person to help. It was an ex-BRE member who did factoring. He’d been a member for two years and had never got a referral even though he’d done everything right – he’d turned up at every meeting, explained what he did, and given referrals to others. I’d met him a few times and remembered him, so when the occasion arose, I was able to make the introduction.

I know it worked out, because I was paid an introducer’s commission and they both took me to lunch to thank me.

Another time, a client asked me to write a fund-raising proposal for them. It’s not the kind of writing I do, so I posted an appeal on Ecademy for a specialist. A couple of people in my network recommended a particular individual, so I put him in touch with my client.

Again, I know it worked out because the Ecademist subscribed me to the wonderful Hotel Chocolat tasting club (which meant a box of delicious chocolates dropped through my door every month for three months), while the client promised me a Christmas hamper. All it took from me was a couple of emails!

I heard a story when I visited BNI about a copper roofer, who’d been a member for a couple of years and never had a referral. Obviously it’s a very specialised business and not very easy to refer! One of his chapter members was having lunch in central London when he overheard a conversation on the next table about re-roofing the church. He leaned over and asked: “Do you need a copper roofer?” And the roofer got £250,000 of business, just because his colleague was in the right place at the right time, with his ‘ears open’ for opportunities. By the way, I still have the business card for that roofer – it’s made of copper!

One more example: an accountant referred me to a client who needed help with his brochure. I did the work but referred the client to a photographer and search engine experts that he also needed. We did all the work but the accountant got all the credit!

Having networked for so long, I now get referrals, repeat business and second, third or even fourth and fifth-generation referrals.

I went to one BNI meeting when I first started my business, and met a photographer who recommended me to an accountant who needed help with his newsletter. I wrote and designed newsletters for the accountant for a couple of years until the partnership broke up. He then recommended me to a telecoms company. I produced newsletters for them for nearly five years, until they downsized. Six months later, they recommended me to another telecoms company. A year later, the new owners of the business ordered a newsletter. The original accountant has also come back for more work. All because I went to one breakfast meeting, on one occasion!

That was lucky – you don’t often get a referral the first time you meet someone. It’s unlikely that someone who’s just met you would say: “Ooh, good, you’re just what I’m looking for, let me give you the money in my pocket or pass your details to my valued contacts”.

More often, it takes time to build up the relationship, to generate the understanding in what you offer and what you’re looking for, to develop the trust that you deliver what you promise, and to grow the goodwill that makes people like you and want to help you. Not everyone is ever understood, trusted AND liked to the same level.

The secret of getting referrals is to:

Be friendly and nice
so people like you

Do a good job
so clients recommend you

Always turn up when you say you will
so people trust that you won’t let them (or their contacts) down

Present yourself professionally
so your confidence in yourself increases other people’s confidence in you

Make a contribution to the group
(whether it’s by giving referrals, or joining the committee, or being the life-and-soul of every party) – as with anything, the more you put in, the more you get out

Be memorable
to impress people you meet, especially any influencers who are extremely well connected (I call them ‘networking tarts’!)

Communicate clearly
so people know the kind of referrals you’re looking for and how you can help

Have a unique marketing message
to stand out from your competitors (such as a catchy slogan summarising your USP)

To give referrals, you have to learn the trick of keeping your contacts in the front of your mind all the time, so that whenever a conversation arises where it’s appropriate to recommend them, you can make the introduction on their behalf. You need to change your mindset from ‘me, me, me’ and recognise that you are part of a team, a group, a network. Eventually, your networking colleagues become friends, and of course we all refer our friends as easily as our friends would refer us.

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